Mistletoe

• Here it is Xmas already, I remember our first Xmas here in ‘03, we had been here  6 months and had made some new friends, all certified and bonifide rednecks, and quite proud of it. No feng  shui here ,just good ole common sense, Shushi is the girl next door.  We got invited to a few Xmas parties, Bill was preparing a wild turkey he  finally bagged after years of trying. Owen was having a ham he cured from a wild boar that wandered on his land. But the most surprising thing was Bubbas mistletoe display, his whole front porch was covered on it. When asked how he managed to get such a display, when the only mistletoe we’ve seen came in little bags sold by the girl scounts. Bubba’s reply was”Man you don’t buy it you shoot it! “You see I take my 12 guage out in the back yard and let fly, and it rains mistletoe!”
• Rains mistletoe huh? There’s mistletoe growing in our woods on the oak trees. Hmmmmm.....So here I am out in the woods, on Dec 23rd, with a Daisy air rifle thinking I can shoot down at least one sprig of mistletoe, no store bought mistletoe for this redneck wannabe. Thus far I have brought down what looks alot like poison ivy, two pine cones, one of which bounced off my head, some round seed pods that look like little sea mines, and I’ve managed to tick off a squirrel who is now frantically taking a close inventory of his acorns! I can’t really tell if my neck has got any redder, but I can truthfully swear to you my rear is defintely turning blue, it’s d.... cold. So as  my mind says stick it out, my rear says get me back in the warm house. Now we know who the boss is, because I’m shortly back in the house with a coffee royal in my hand and the boss in front of a raging fire. By the way you can buy mistletoe for $1.19 a bunch right inside the door of the nearest Piggly Wiggly.